Fun things to say when someone tells you they’re going to go to the bathroom:
- Stay safe
- That’s what they all say
- Different strokes for different folks
- I hope you have the time of your life
- But you have so much to live for
- Please explain
I wish it was normal to ask your teacher to hang out outside of school. And also I wish it was normal to fuck the shit out of them.
mom: honey, what would you like for your birthday?! :)
mom: no silly!! i mean a REAL present!!!
I used to be a straight A student
Now I’m not even straight
Can I just tell you all about this one day I went to school and a girl who sat in front of me told me to look in her sleeve
“this is the result of my cat laying on my iPad and taking a picture of himself”
I CANNOT BREATHE
LOOK AT ITS LITTLE TEETHIES.
I AM SORRY BUT I JUST LAUGHED FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES STRAIGHT OK THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE PICTURE
oh my gOODNESS
Cat took a selfie